They do not see the children as individuals with their own ideas.
For obvious reasons, this becomes highly destructive to the children as they approach young adulthood.
The Narc’s children are the ultimate supply…they’re always there, they carry his genes and they look up to him without question, heck, they even look a bit like him…
Narcissistic fathers see their children simply as an extension of themselves.
If the son of a narcissist chooses a certain academic program in college and the Narc views their choice as substandard i.e.
medicine, pre-law, science or architecture, they will make their disapproval known to all.
Their children’s appearance, behavior, choices, friends, and activities are all a reflection of themselves.
This condition often includes the parent expecting their children to be ‘perfect’ just as they view themselves.
The moment these people question, doubt or disagree with the Narc, they are no longer of use to him and no longer a source of supply.
Every decision they make is questioned by the Narc father.
Every dream, idea or hint of independent thought is dismissed by the Narc father if it does not abide by his ideals.
This example shows how toxic the Narc can be and how it transfers to the Narc’s supply (friends).
The conversation left the young woman feeling ugly and stupid. As long as the children are a source of supply, the children will benefit from this charm.