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We planned Halloween costumes and epic homecoming sleepovers.We talked about our eating disorders with a candor unavailable to us at the lunch table.When I messaged boys I liked, I learned to have conversations where there was no pressure to arrive at a right answer.Chatting online, rather, the goal was just to banter.

Chatting online was our “out of context,” because interacting fact-to-face meant awkward, eyes-on-the-floor self-consciousness that defined middle or high school. You could “…” through an awkward silence; draft messages in consultation with your BFF; study your chipped nail polish instead of looking straight into the eyes of the person you hoped “like-liked” you. You could sign off with “ciao” one day, “peace out” the next.

) or serious (I was uncomfortable when you...), using tact is necessary.

You wouldn’t want to drop a heavy-conversation bomb on your partner out of nowhere, and in order to share a erotic thought effectively, you have to start with getting yourself in the mood.

This is for the couple that celebrates creative thinking on the fly.

Take that last heart-melting thing that your partner did, whether accidental or intentional, and share it with them as one of your new favorite turn-ons.

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