Of course the point is not to gossip about exes or fixate on past relationships.
But having a sense of the road one came from can make the one ahead far less bumpy.
Many times in the heat of an argument one partner might throw out the “let’s end it now” card. At their most basic level, they involve setting your ego aside.
Is he willing to truly open himself up and share his life story?Can he identify what he is looking for in a relationship and why previous relationships ended, or does he reply with something vague and general such as “I just like to see where things will go” or “it just didn’t work out." Don’t feel like you are prying or being too inquisitive.To make a relationship work, you need a sense of the areas for growth. Coming to a common understanding of what makes you both tick or what went terribly in a previous relationship can help strengthen the current one.Or does his story eventually end up being deflected back to you?Does he avoid talking about family, friends and the things that describe his background?No one is there to witness it when your boyfriend is putting you down, treating you poorly, or being disrespectful.And seeing through the rose-colored glasses of love, you don’t see any differently either. Which is why you need someone to help check your vision.Whether it is a friend, a sibling, or other acquaintance, it can be helpful to include a larger community in your relationship for the purposes of safety and balance.In some collectivistic cultures, families can be at the forefront of relationships—so much so that they interfere with the natural progression.Different people will have a different comfort level with opening up or need more time. But you can also tell when one is avoiding these topics altogether.While there is a natural rhyme and rhythm to when one meets friends, family and others in the course of a relationship, there can also be a level of exclusivity that can feel stifling or unbalanced. In fact, overly exclusive relationships where partners don’t want to include others are a hallmark characteristic of abusive relationships.