Yes, I realize I’m speaking in metaphors, so let me tie this up: I don’t care if you of them is not your relationship – it is simply a thought in your head, completely irrelevant to the on-going music of your relationship.
Our society tries to make relationships into a thing – a thing that can be worked on, fixed or broken. You can say you have the song or own it, but saying you have a song on your i Pod has nothing to do with your experience of the song as it’s playing.
OK, so I talked earlier about what fixation feels like and how it’s the biggest warning sign that you’re trying to have a relationship with a bad match (that is, a match that isn’t going to work out in the long term and will drain your life, heart, and soul until there’s nothing left…).
However, I didn’t explain the incredibly damaging toll this takes on the relationship having a chance.
Most of the love stories we see in pop culture are rooted in infatuation…not real love.
Some degree of infatuation is fine, but a relationship entirely rooted in infatuation is usually doomed.