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Dating someone who is anorexic

Get the facts If you suspect that the person you are dating is anorexic, first of all find out all you can about the condition.Anorexia nervosa is a kind of eating disorder which compels the patient to go on an extreme form of dieting.Patience with yourself as you try to comprehend why your thoughts are telling you to starve, that you are worthless and that no one could possible tolerate you, let alone love you.Patience when you take a few steps backward even though you want to go forward. People recovering from an eating disorder or other mental illness know what it feels like to be hurting on the inside, but hiding behind a smile on the outside.

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Or how hard it is to get through a day when your vision is blurred and you’re shaking with weakness.By this, I mean people with so many truly amazing qualities — real beauty. To learn to override your thoughts and feelings, realize that your life is worth living, accept yourself, even yourself, persist with friends and family as they try to understand and face the stigma and misconceptions of mental illness day in and day out takes real strength. Patience is such an important virtue — in our relationships with people around us, with our hopes and aspirations and to get through the tougher aspects of life.There are few situations that take more strength than this to overcome. To recover from an eating disorder takes real patience.So if you start dating and even get to like someone only to find out that the person has anorexia, it may leave you confused, worried and perhaps scared.But then should you wish to know the person better or indeed have a relationship, here is what dating an anorexic could be like.For instance if you are moved by your genuine concern to say, “You really shouldn't lose any more weight.", it is heard as a dare, a challenge by your anorexic partner.She will take it as an invitation to shed more pounds and a new goal to set.Don’t focus on weight The anorexic mind is a delicate one – most of the times there is a dialogue going on in the mind of an anorexic – whether to get a tiny bite of apple or to leave it, whether to induce a vomit again or to let the body be.This is why you should be extremely careful of what you say to an anorexic, especially when it is about weight and body types.Patience in accepting where you are, and patience to get to where you want to be. They know what it feels like when the whole world is crashing down on you, and to feel broken at rock-bottom. People in recovery know what it is to be terrifyingly lonely, even if you are surrounded by friendly faces — it’s part of being unwell. But those who are recovering from an eating disorder do. They consume your feelings about yourself, your value, your worth. They then consume your friends and family, leading you to believe you deserve this isolation. Eating disorders destroy a person’s whole existence. Each day isn’t something you just have to get through, but something you decided you want, and fought so hard to have.Patience with your friends and family when they unintentionally say things that hurt you as they try to help you. Sometimes we can be too wrapped up in life to notice that other people are suffering. Eating disorders, like other mental illnesses, tell you that everyone hates you. So recovery involves breaking down these false beliefs and recognizing that you are worth so much to your friends and family. Going into life with this mindset, you cannot fail to appreciate how pretty a pink and orange sky looks, or how fun it is to mess around with your friends, or how good a cup of tea is, or how fuzzy a hug from someone you love feels, or how refreshing raindrops feel on your face, or how electric it feels when you make someone else smile. In the words of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, beautiful people do not just happen.

333 comments

  1. Apr 5, 2016. I had boyfriends when I had anorexia. Yes, I was thin in a fashionable way before I got thin in a starving-person way. Yes, I was an extremely cheap date — for dinner in high school, of course, but also for drinks in college. Someone who ate six hundred calories all day before going out gets wasted on.

  2. May 13, 2015. When you struggle with an eating disorder it can feel like you're a prisoner to your body so essentially, you're dating or married to a “trapped” woman in. There is never a time in which an anorexic or person struggling with bulimia says, “Yes, now I am the perfect weight and can stop this nonsense.”.

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