He came across as sophisticated and neurotic—very New Yorky. It turned out that the only thing Aaron loved more than Shakespeare was Shake Shack, and the only thing I loved more than flirting was french fries.We were a sexless match made in high-cholesterol heaven, until I got a little grossed out by his gluttony (only one of us was entitled to such a rapidly growing belly.)I also reconnected with an old friend, Ryan, who now had kids (and an ex) of his own. ” I was so happy, I couldn’t even find words to express my gratitude. In fact, I already had so many warm feelings around my pregnancy that I quite longed for a handsome man to take me to dinner and share stories and secrets. I could live with being single, but everything about my childlessness felt wrong. If anyone wanted to call it weird, well, they weren’t welcome on this journey with me. I wanted to date for the pleasure of it, not because I was a 37-year-old woman hunting for a husband or a baby daddy before the clock ran out. I never hesitated in telling the truth about my story—to anyone. I’d been dying to have a baby before it was too late, and though I’d come close with a couple of exes, I still wasn’t sure what I was looking for in a man.I was in the middle of interviewing a popular yoga teacher for a magazine story when I saw my phone light up. Still, what he described as his “sense of betrayal” struck me as extreme. Without much time to explain, I asked the yogi to hold my hand. My mother reminded me, as she always does, that there’s a halo above me. When I explained that I used a sperm donor, they were comforted but confused. And to be fair, I’d waited until about 20 minutes in, because our banter seemed so fluid and fun.
We bonded over our views on the public school system (yes, please! I like to think I took myself off the market, but truthfully, only a man with a pregnancy fetish would have wanted me—and, yikes.
I feel that she is meant for me and I'm meant for her. If you do date her, make sure you anticipate that life is about to be turned upside down. Dear Harlan: I'm extremely shy and in my early 20s. I'm told I'm attractive and that can be intimidating. Dear Not Snobby: I used to have the opposite problem.
The problem is that she is pregnant, but not with my child. Once I get to know someone, I don't have any problems. Because I'm quiet, people (especially men) think I'm snobby.
So it was serendipitous that I met Aaron, a humanities professor, at a dinner party during my second trimester.
Aaron seemed to delight in every detail of my story.