I am trying to be patient as he's asked me to do so.
I guess I just worry that this will be yet another relationship that just hurts in the end and was a waste of time. I've waited with marriage until I found someone I was really in love with. His two beautiful daughters I've come to love as my own. You might be happy now, but it's NOT worth the possible heartache. Hi Troe -I just stumbled upon this website looking for advice on my relationship. It was love at first sight and we have been head over heels in love ever since. He usually has them on the weekends and some weeknights and I am never asked to join.
In my opinion only, it MAY be that he is just not comfortable enough with your relationship yet to involve his kids heavily. Try to be very understanding and have a long talk with him to express your concerns. I have spent time (dinner...3 times) with the 15 yr old daughter and met the 10 yr old son.
Also, depending upon the situation with his ex, he may have concerns that she may not agree with his choices and try to make it more difficult for him to see his kids. He and their mother have been divorced for 3 1/2 years.
I am the only woman the kids have met, so he is very protective of them. He also travels alot for work,so in his limited free time he is torn between his kids OR me instead of me AND the kids?
I want him to be a good father, put his children first, go to all the fball games and track meets, but does that mean putting my feelings,needs,wants, on a shelf...settling?!
My situation is a little different because I have kids with the guy who also has an ex wife and son. What stinks is that I can sit here and tell you to have trust etc. The kids know about me and the two times we met he told me they really liked me.
Its a sensitive topic, and I do want to marry this man and be a part of their lives as a whole, so does that mean I need to suck it up?! I am dating a divorced guy with four kids who he has custody of. I know that I will be second to his children and I can't possibly expect him to put me above his kids. i haven't met his kids but there is one thing that i can't control; i am having difficulty in dealing with this situation although my boyfriend only sees the kids every summer.
What's hard is that I know my parents aren't happy with my situation and they feel like I should find somebody who 1) isn't divorced and 2) doesn't have kids. but his children arent lol i tried so hard to be accepted by them .. and i dont really care anymore .husband is a great father .. but i always have to compromise and be understanding that im not the only one in his life ... It really helps that it's anonymous because I got comments from friends that they would not say to my face. He gets his children every other weekend and on those weekends, I don't see him nor am I invited to do things with them.
I respect that they are concerned about me and my situation but can't they just be happy that I'm happy right now? consider that and watch how close your guy with his children and watch the character of those children .your choice .. I also am in a relationship with a fella with 3 kids, I have 4 and can make it work, but he is having difficulty, he says they come first and me 2nd. Using this, I decided what to do about my relationship and have been very happy with my decision. I am dating a recently divorced man with 3 children. I have only been around them twice and both times things went well, but we've been dating now for 8 months and still I've only been around them twice. But, If he doesn't have that desire to include me in ALL of his life, have me go places with them (even once a month) then how do I know if this is actually going somwhere?
If you do end up with him, I'm sure it will be because he treats you right. I'd say that you should talk to him and let him know if he will be a part of you by a certain date (before your first anniversary would be good, I think, but you may choose one that you prefer). I'm interested in knowing how things have turned out for you? I don't want to succomb to my family's pressure but they are so right.
This is more about how long you want to wait rather than when he's supposed to decide. He was with his last gf for 5 years and never got married.