The type who is practically the poster child for He’s Just Not That Into You used to seem to me to be the most likely to over- and misuse the excuse of intimidation when consoling herself in the face of heartbreak.However, now that I’ve come to the repeated conclusion that intimidation played a role in my recent failed dating endeavors, I feel like maybe I should rethink my stance—especially because in all of those cases that explanation seemed completely likely and totally logical.“Everything in your body is telling you ‘Just go the fuck home and jerk off, don’t do this‘” But you do it anyway, CK says, because “sometimes she’ll say yes.”But sometimes she’ll say no. There’s not a lot you can do to change whether women do or don’t find you attractive. People who spend their lives studying and analyzing rejection and how to survive it will say the same thing.“What I tell guys is, if the woman didn’t tell you why she rejected you, assume it’s because of her issues or circumstances rather than because of any deficiency of yours,” says Guy Winch, Ph. Rejection hurts because being romantically rejected is similar to trying to kick a cocaine habit. In all cases, certain key areas of the brain—like the orbitofrontal/prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate—responded in the same way to a breakup that it does during a particularly harrowing drug detox.After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.It’s pretty hard to take the sting out of being rejected by a guy after a month or so of semi-serious dating, especially when the signs seemed to be indicating a reasonable likelihood of success.Sadly, I find myself in this situation a little too often, so by now I’ve got a system for dealing with my hurt feelings and bruised ego in the immediate wake of being rejected.
If you claim otherwise, you’re either seriously deluded or a lying asshole. Louis CK perfectly summed up the internal struggle that every guy faces when he tries to be romantically bold with a woman he’s just met. Remember that the next time a woman says no and it hurts. You’re like Keith Richards in the 70s being denied heroin. Related: How to Marry the Woman of Your Dreams, According to 12 Guys Who Did It Let’s start with the basics: You’re not being a wimp for taking it hard. D., a neuroscientist and Clinical Professor in Neurology at Einstein College of Medicine in New York, studied the brain activity of 15 college-age men and women who had recently been rejected by their partners. But then it’s 2am and you’re wide awake, staring at the ceiling, and wondering why you’re such an unlovable monster.”—and I’ve had a lot of success with this approach for the past couple of years.Until recently, that is, since I’ve started to notice an alarming trend: In three of my last four rejections, I concluded that the guy ended things with me because I intimidated him.And then there’s the 2011 University of British Columbia study, which found that women aren’t likely to go home with a guy if he smiles too much. If you want to get more dates, just wear red, have eyes like her dad, and stop smiling.Or you could just be more like the guy with the micropenis.I call this trend “alarming” because I usually consider it delusional to blame a guy’s lack of interest on intimidation. ” is a phrase that I’ve always thought of as the battle cry for cheesy, brainless girls who are totally lacking in any charming or marketable attributes whatsoever.You know, the kinds of girls who think they’re coming across as totally hot and athletic when they post a Facebook status update about going to the gym, notwithstanding the fact that they’re 15 pounds overweight and probably consumed more calories in Smart Water than they burned on the elliptical (while flipping through the pages of magazine, of course).Not to mention, every time he brought me around his friends, one or two of them would pull me aside and tell me what a great girl I was and that they were glad he was dating someone like me.I was literally convinced that I was the perfect girl for him. And after analyzing every single second of our interaction at least 100 times, I really can’t come up with anything that makes any sense other than the fact that I was perfect for him—too perfect, in fact. The problem, though, is that I can’t quite pinpoint why it would be scary for a guy to be with an awesome girl.